I feel horrible...

[ligrumpygirl]

DH just left with his cat of 12 yrs (maybe a little more or less) to give him away.

I am soooo not an animal person and he knew this 5 years ago. I let the cat live in my basement (it was my house that they moved into) and it was ok. When we moved to our new house, Ophelia moved into the basement. I didn't like her upstairs because she is long haired and it got everywhere. Well, Ophelia started doing not nice kitty things all over the basement and it smells. DD6 would get itchy from being down there for 5 minutes with puffy eyes. After a few months I couldn't take it. I had to ask him to find her a new home.

I feel sooooo bad for him right now. He had her since the second she was born...but I can't use my basement! I didn't pay almost $500,000 for a house with a basement for a cat to use! Now the kids will get the playroom they were supposed to have and we will finally have our exercise room. It smelled so bad (with presents everywhere) we couldn't do this.

I want to go buy him a big present to say I'm sorry...what does one give to say "sorry I made you give your cat away???

[Hedy]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[zoodoyle]

We just had our basement carpets cleaned today as a matter of fact - gotta' love kitties :love:

[m 'n c]

Oh that's a tough one. How about beer and a video game?? I really don't have any ideas but I know that had to be a hard decision for the both of you and you did try to live with his cat for 5 years it sounds like.

[wdwabby]

I don't want to sound harsh, but there really is no present right now that can make up for him having to rehome his girl. If I were in that position, having someone try to buy me something to replace my cat or make me feel better about losing her would pretty much make it worse - kind of like salt in the wound.

Maybe in a few days cook him a really nice dinner, allow him to rent or choose the movie of his choice, etc ... but let him have a few days to adjust. My cat means the world to me and I can't imagine being in his shoes right now :(

[SunshineGirl]

I completely understand how you feel. I'm just not a cat person either. :( I don't know why. My mom has a ton of them. We had one when I was a kid that used to attack me while I slept and poop in my bathtub. LOL! I just never liked them again.

It's a hard thing because for some people, their animals are just like their children. For others, the animals are animals. When a situation like yours comes up where an animal person and a non-animal person live together, it can be really hard.

Maybe instead of a gift, a card with a special sentiment is more in order? Like a big thank you for making what you understand is a big sacrifice for your family??

(no offense to any kitty owners out there---I wish I was a cat person because they seem easier to take care of than my noisy old dog!!!)

[sunshinecindy]

DH just left with his cat of 12 yrs (maybe a little more or less) to give him away.

I am soooo not an animal person and he knew this 5 years ago. I let the cat live in my basement (it was my house that they moved into) and it was ok. When we moved to our new house, Ophelia moved into the basement. I didn't like her upstairs because she is long haired and it got everywhere. Well, Ophelia started doing not nice kitty things all over the basement and it smells. DD6 would get itchy from being down there for 5 minutes with puffy eyes. After a few months I couldn't take it. I had to ask him to find her a new home.

I feel sooooo bad for him right now. He had her since the second she was born...but I can't use my basement! I didn't pay almost $500,000 for a house with a basement for a cat to use! Now the kids will get the playroom they were supposed to have and we will finally have our exercise room. It smelled so bad (with presents everywhere) we couldn't do this.

I want to go buy him a big present to say I'm sorry...what does one give to say "sorry I made you give your cat away???

Wow, I'm sure you know what my sentiment is going to be. I'd get rid of the DH before I'd get rid of any of my animals....really.
Speaking on the veterinary professional side, your 12 yr old probably had a medical problem to all of a sudden start going potty where it shouldnt. Thats rare for a cat unless its ill or mad about something. As for the hair, shaving down long hair cats is perfectly acceptable, in fact, I have seen quite a few that liked it. Not necessarily the process of the shaving, but the after effects.

I feel for your DH and I don't think there is anything you can do right now, cause honestly, people who love animals can't understand how come some people don't.
Not ragging on you cause I know there are just certain people that aren't animal lovers, then theres those of us that are over the top. Also sounds like one of your kids had some allergies. Just FYI and anyone else who reads this, there is a shampoo out there called Allerpet, its for people who have allergies to animal dander. You bathe the animal with it, and it kills the dander, which is the main allergy reason, not the hair.

[ruledbymercury]

Oh man...I couldn't imagine having to give up my fur-babies. They are literally members of the family. I agree that buying him some kind of present to cheer him up isn't the right way to go about this. I think a thoughtful card and being respectful of whatever emotional support or space he needs to adjust would be the best course of action. If he loves his cat as much as I love mine, it's going to be tough.

[wilsonfamily4]

I am NOT an animal person. So I can't understand the situation the way you need it looked at. But I wanted to give you support that you are not alone in your way of thinking.

[phillygal3]

aw i love cats but i can understand someone not being a cat person since i'm not a really a dog person (why cant people understand THAT?) to each their own...good luck. you could always take it to the pound.

[nolacindy]

I don't want to sound harsh, but there really is no present right now that can make up for him having to rehome his girl. If I were in that position, having someone try to buy me something to replace my cat or make me feel better about losing her would pretty much make it worse - kind of like salt in the wound.

:(

I have to agree with wdwabby, right now its probably best just to let the subject go. Did you all take the cat to the vet to see if there were any health problems? About a month ago my husband was about to "boot stitch out the back door" as he would say because he was using the bathtub, closet, hall, dining room as his personal litter box. I begged for one last try and found a litter called Cat Attract. They put something in there that makes the cats want to use the litter box. Knock on wood we have had no "accidents" yet.

I understand wanting to have your house clean and that allergies can be awful, but he has had the cat for 12 years and it is going to be tough on him. Maybe start donating food, toys, money, time to the shelter to a local shelter in her honor.

[Debbie Jean]

Wow, I'm sure you know what my sentiment is going to be. I'd get rid of the DH before I'd get rid of any of my animals....really.
Speaking on the veterinary professional side, your 12 yr old probably had a medical problem to all of a sudden start going potty where it shouldnt. Thats rare for a cat unless its ill or mad about something. As for the hair, shaving down long hair cats is perfectly acceptable, in fact, I have seen quite a few that liked it. Not necessarily the process of the shaving, but the after effects.

I feel for your DH and I don't think there is anything you can do right now, cause honestly, people who love animals can't understand how come some people don't.
Not ragging on you cause I know there are just certain people that aren't animal lovers, then theres those of us that are over the top. Also sounds like one of your kids had some allergies. Just FYI and anyone else who reads this, there is a shampoo out there called Allerpet, its for people who have allergies to animal dander. You bathe the animal with it, and it kills the dander, which is the main allergy reason, not the hair.

ITA.
How devastating for both your hasband and the poor cat to have to give up an animal you have had for 12 years since they were a furbaby :( I agree that it will seem like you are trivializing it if you get him a "gift" to "make up" for it.

[m 'n c]

I think the point is that she feels terrible as it is not to make her feel worse. I don't think she's trying to trivialize this at all. Honestly if it were me in her shoes and I made Mike give up a pet I'd probably rent a game for his PS2 and back away and not mention anything. Guys can be different in that they don't want to discuss their feelings. They'd rather grieve silently and then get over it and never talk about it again. I'm not sure how her husband is but I know with Mike I wouldn't open my mouth or give a card as that wouldn't go over very well at all.

[SunshineGirl]

SunshineGuy is the type that would probably really rather not talk about it as well. More of a "deal with it himself" kind of guy.

[Blessing and Miracle]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I would allow my husband to grieve in his own way, but I would definitely remind him that I was sorry that it had to come to this. Show empathy, understanding and love. Those are key ingredients for anything!


Lisa

[ligrumpygirl]

I think the point is that she feels terrible as it is not to make her feel worse. I don't think she's trying to trivialize this at all. Honestly if it were me in her shoes and I made Mike give up a pet I'd probably rent a game for his PS2 and back away and not mention anything. Guys can be different in that they don't want to discuss their feelings. They'd rather grieve silently and then get over it and never talk about it again. I'm not sure how her husband is but I know with Mike I wouldn't open my mouth or give a card as that wouldn't go over very well at all.

Thank you to all...but Catherine hit it right on the head. I was in no way trying to trivialize the situation. I was trying to add some sarcasm to the situation but that doesn't come across online well. I had tears in my eyes as she left...I felt very bad. DH is not saying much about it...and it is better that way for him. It sounds like her Mike and my Charlie could be very similiar! He went and bought some DVDs today and is playing some video games right now. Men...got to love them!

[Lisaj68]

Thank you to all...but Catherine hit it right on the head. I was in no way trying to trivialize the situation. I was trying to add some sarcasm to the situation but that doesn't come across online well. I had tears in my eyes as she left...I felt very bad. DH is not saying much about it...and it is better that way for him. It sounds like her Mike and my Charlie could be very similiar! He went and bought some DVDs today and is playing some video games right now. Men...got to love them!

To add a little more sarcasm, what can you do for your husband? How about get him a goldfish??!! Okay, maybe not.

Seriously, I'm sorry about your situation. You feel terrible for your husband, and yet I am sure you are relieved to have the cat out so you can clean your basement and have your house back. It feels bad to be relieved about something that makes someone you love unhappy.

Well, it's been a few days, is your husband feeling better?

[bs4free]

Sorry about haveing to have DH find his cat a new home! I think he will be ok, like you said he is enjoying some new dvds, and video games! I am sure it was for him it was hard to get rid of his cat, but you vs. his cat, i am sure you would win everytime, and in the end you probley give him more joy then his cat! I liked the idea, of giving him a nice dinner after letting him have some time! :hugs: